True North Ministries

Alignment

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sat, 29 Mar 2025 15:10:12 GMT

Rise with Purpose, Live Honorably, Lead Courageously, Love Unconditionally

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Acquisition & Action

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 14:03:09 GMT

Acquisition & Action: Discovering the Power of Intentional Inaction

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3 Step Vision Casting

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 10:09:50 GMT

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠…. 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐘𝐎𝐔

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 09:58:21 GMT

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SIlence the Noise

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 09:56:14 GMT

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Owning Peace

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 09:54:18 GMT

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Identity Crisis

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 09:51:26 GMT

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Who Am I

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sun, 23 Mar 2025 09:47:56 GMT

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A Period of Agony

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 14:18:36 GMT

Sit In It… Experience It… Learn From It

Some days, sadness feels overwhelming, almost tangible, as if it’s trying to teach us something we’ve yet to learn. Today, I find myself in such a moment—sitting in sadness, letting it wash over me, tears coming unbidden. I don’t often linger here, but today, I feel compelled to sit with it for a moment.

Why? I can’t quite pinpoint it. Perhaps it’s a deep longing to be better—better than I was, better than I am, better than I ever thought I could be. Or perhaps it’s the weight of realizing I haven’t always lived up to the man I’ve aspired to become.

It’s easy to catalog the ways I could have been more: more kind, more patient, more compassionate, more present. I could have been more diligent, more understanding, more thoughtful. I could have loved more—deeper, better, and with more intention. The adversities of life have often distracted me, frustrated my purpose, and shifted my focus inward when I should have been outwardly focused on others.

And yet, as much as regret can pull us into despair, perhaps sadness has its own purpose. Perhaps sadness invites us to pause, reflect, and grow.

Sitting in sadness doesn’t have to mean wallowing in it. It can mean experiencing it, letting it teach us, and learning from it. Perhaps the tears and the ache remind me of what I do not want to be. They remind me of the kind of man I should be and the man I still desire to become.

Sadness can become a teacher if we let it—a mirror that reflects not just the brokenness but also the possibilities. Maybe it’s here to show me that I can still be kind, compassionate, patient, and empathetic. That I can still learn to be more present, more thoughtful, and more loving. Maybe sadness is enabling me to see through the smoke, guiding me toward clarity and a deeper understanding of myself.

As hard as it is, perhaps I’m meant to sit in this sadness for a moment. To let it shape me into someone who can better serve others, help them feel seen, and guide them toward joy, peace, and fulfillment.

So today, I sit with it. I experience it. I learn from it. And when the sadness lifts, I’ll emerge as someone more thoughtful, more loving, and more attuned to the needs of others.

Because maybe that’s the purpose of sadness—to deepen our humanity, broaden our capacity for love, and remind us of the human we’re striving to become.

Be More Intentional

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 16:27:15 GMT

For the first 32 years of my life, I wandered aimlessly.

Every road I took seemed to end in a dead end.

I jumped from job to job,

�� Unsure of what I wanted.

I surrounded myself with the wrong crowds,

�� Trying to fill a void.

I chased shortcuts to success,

�� Without even knowing what success truly was.

Man, I was a mess.

The Good ✅

Through it all, I learned some hard lessons. I developed grit, fortitude, and determination.

The Bad ❌

It took me 32 long years to start living in a way that was honorable, respectable, and positively progressive.

I’m grateful for both—the lessons and the journey—but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I’d figured it out sooner.

I know there are other men out there who’ve felt—or are feeling—the same:

Frustration,

Heartache,

Fatigue,

Confusion,

Defeat.

If that’s you, hear me out.

Over the past eight years, I’ve learned one powerful truth:

Success, money, jobs, friends… none of it really matters until you’ve figured out one thing—

�� WHO YOU ARE.

This was the missing ingredient for me for so many years.

And I know it’s the missing ingredient for so many other men right now.

Maybe it’s what you’re missing, too.

Do not let this be the thing that continues to hold you back from the progress, fulfillment, and purpose you’re seeking.

Here’s what I want to share with you:

One of the frameworks that helped me uncover WHO I AM.

It’s simple.

But it’s not easy.

It requires time, diligence, and a willingness to dig deep into your heart and existence.

But it works.

Use it.

Don’t procrastinate.

Don’t let another dead end stop you.

Because here’s the truth: everything good, honorable, trustworthy, noble, and praiseworthy in life flows from one place—WHO YOU ARE at your core.

The D.E.S.I.G.N. Framework:

This framework is designed to help you identify your unique makeup:

Drives:

What excites you? What fires you up?

Experiences:

What unique experiences have shaped you into the man you are today?

Spirituality:

How do you best connect with God?

Impact:

What arena do you feel most compelled to influence or contribute to?

Genius:

What are the things you do repeatedly, successfully, and joyfully?

Nature:

What’s your personality? Are you more extroverted or introverted? Do you thrive in structure or spontaneity?

This is simply a starting point. But starting is key.

If you need help working through this or figuring out your next steps, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Your journey starts with YOU. Don’t wait any longer to uncover who that is.

Breaking the Victim Mentality

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 16:19:49 GMT

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Bridge the Faith Gap 4

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 16:10:50 GMT

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Bridge the Faith Gap 3

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sat, 22 Feb 2025 14:24:40 GMT

Faith and Politics: Navigating Perceptions with Empathy

In today’s society, faith and politics often intertwine, sometimes leading to division rather than unity. Many non-Christians feel averse to Christianity because of its association with certain political and social stances. Hot-button issues like LGBTQ+ rights, abortion, and the role of religion in government have made some people wary of engaging with Christians, fearing judgment or exclusion. While Christians have the right to uphold their values, it’s crucial to approach these conversations with empathy and a spirit of inclusivity.

Why the Association with Politics Can Be a Barrier

Christianity, like all faiths, is diverse, yet it is sometimes publicly represented by the loudest voices in political and social debates. When faith is primarily viewed through a political lens, it can overshadow its deeper purpose—love, grace, and redemption. Many non-Christians feel that some Christian groups align themselves so closely with political ideologies that it becomes difficult to distinguish faith from partisanship. This can create an “us vs. them” mentality that pushes people away instead of drawing them in.

The challenge, then, is finding a way to uphold Christian convictions while demonstrating love and respect toward those who hold different beliefs. It’s not about compromising values but about fostering relationships that reflect the heart of Christ.

How Christians Can Foster Empathy Without Compromising Faith

1. Prioritize People Over Politics

Jesus engaged with people from all walks of life—tax collectors, sinners, and those rejected by society—without making political stances the focus of His ministry. Christians today can follow His example by prioritizing relationships over political arguments. This means listening before debating, seeking to understand before being understood, and recognizing that a person’s worth is not determined by their political beliefs.

When engaging in conversations about social issues, Christians can shift the focus from winning arguments to building relationships based on kindness and respect. This doesn’t mean avoiding important topics, but rather ensuring that discussions are rooted in love rather than division.

2. Model Christ-Like Love in Difficult Conversations

Many people have encountered Christians who seem more interested in defending policies than extending compassion. This can create the impression that Christianity is more about rules than about grace. Instead, Christians can reflect Christ by engaging in discussions with humility and love, even when disagreements arise.

One way to do this is to acknowledge the concerns of others without dismissing them. Phrases like “I see where you’re coming from” or “I respect your perspective” go a long way in creating open dialogue. Demonstrating patience and kindness in these conversations allows others to see that Christianity is not just about moral positions, but about a deeper calling to love God and love others.

Conclusion

While faith will always intersect with societal issues, Christians have the opportunity to present their beliefs in a way that is compassionate, respectful, and reflective of Christ’s love. By prioritizing people over politics and approaching difficult conversations with humility, Christians can break down barriers and foster genuine relationships. In doing so, they create an environment where faith is seen not as a political stance, but as a transformative and inclusive expression of God’s love.

Knowing, Doing, Becoming: The Process of Transformation

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 15:54:39 GMT

We live in a world where knowledge is abundant. Books, podcasts, sermons, and social media offer endless streams of wisdom. But here’s the question—what good is knowing if it never transforms us into action?

Knowing must become doing, and doing must shape who we are becoming.

Many of us look at hardships as lessons—things to be learned, studied, and understood. And while there is certainly wisdom to be gained from struggle, not every trial in our lives is simply a learning experience. Some hardships exist to shape us, not just to teach us.

The Purpose of Hardship

There are moments when God allows difficulty not to simply teach us something but to make us into something.

• Joseph in the Old Testament wasn’t just learning patience in prison—he was being shaped into a leader.

• David wasn’t just learning how to fight when he faced Goliath—he was becoming a king.

• Jesus didn’t endure suffering on the cross to gain knowledge—He became the ultimate sacrifice for our salvation.

The reality is that transformation happens through action. It’s not just what we believe—it’s what we live out.

Faith in Action

Scripture is clear:

“Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” – James 2:17

Faith isn’t just about knowing; it’s about doing. It’s about trusting God enough to act, even when we don’t have all the answers.

• If we say we trust God but never take steps of faith, do we really trust Him?

• If we believe in God’s power but never live as if He is in control, do we really believe?

• If we claim to follow Christ but never become more like Him, are we truly His disciples?

Transformation happens in the doing—when we step out in faith, even when it’s hard, even when it’s unclear, even when it hurts.

Reflecting on Your Own Journey

Take a moment to think about your own life:

1. What hardships have you endured?

• What struggles have shaped you into the man you are today?

• How has God refined you through those seasons?

2. What has God made you as a result of those hardships?

• Have you developed more patience, resilience, or wisdom?

• Has your faith deepened because of what you’ve been through?

3. What hardships are you currently enduring?

• What challenges are testing your faith right now?

• Are you resisting the process, or are you allowing God to shape you?

4. What is God making you into in your current hardships?

• Can you see how God is preparing you for something greater?

• Are you stepping into faith and action, or are you stuck in analysis and fear?

Practical Application: Moving from Knowing to Doing

It’s easy to stay in the realm of thinking and talking about change, but transformation happens through action. Here’s how you can take the next step:

1. Identify one area where you need to take action.

• Maybe it’s stepping up as a leader in your home.

• Maybe it’s finally confronting a bad habit or sin in your life.

• Maybe it’s trusting God financially, relationally, or in your career.

2. Take one step of obedience this week.

• Faith is built in small, daily steps.

• Make a plan and commit to doing something that moves you forward.

3. Surround yourself with men who challenge and support you.

• Transformation isn’t a solo journey.

• Find brothers who will encourage and hold you accountable.

4. Pray for clarity and courage.

• Ask God what He is shaping you into.

• Pray for the strength to step out in faith, even when it’s uncomfortable.

You Are Becoming

Right now, in this very moment, God is making you into something greater. You are not just meant to know—you are meant to do, and in the doing, you are becoming the man you were created to be.

Will you trust the process? Will you step into action? Will you allow God to shape you through what you are facing today?

The choice is yours. Faith isn’t passive—it’s active. Now is the time to move.

Bridge the Faith Gap 2

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sat, 15 Feb 2025 17:43:08 GMT

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Bridging the Faith Gap 1

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 22:39:34 GMT

Bridging the Gap by Fostering Open-mindedness

In the rich tapestry of global belief systems, Christianity holds a prominent place, with followers spanning diverse cultures and societies. However, a challenge that often arises in interfaith relations is the perception of a lack of open-mindedness among some Christians towards differing viewpoints.

This perception can lead to a divide, where non-Christians feel misunderstood, attacked, judged, or excluded. The essence of fostering a more inclusive environment lies not in compromising one's values but in enhancing understanding, grace, and empathy.

Understanding the Challenge…

At the heart of this challenge is the complex nature of faith itself. Faith, for many, is a deeply personal and defining aspect of their lives, shaping their values, actions, and worldviews. For Christians, living according to the teachings of Jesus and the Bible is fundamental. However, this commitment can sometimes be perceived as unwillingness to engage with or accept differing perspectives, especially on moral and existential matters.

Furthermore, that same commitment can leave people feeling defensive when challenged.

This perception of inflexibility can act as a barrier to dialogue and understanding, creating an us-versus-them mentality that benefits no one. It's crucial to recognize that being open-minded does not mean diluting one's faith but rather approaching discussions with a willingness to listen and understand others' viewpoints, regardless of how they make one feel, especially if one does not agree with them.

Pathways to Empathy and Inclusion

1. **Active Listening**

One of the most powerful tools at our disposal is the ability to listen actively. For Christians seeking to bridge the gap with non-Christians, engaging in active listening can be transformative. This means listening to understand, not to respond. By genuinely hearing what others have to say, without immediately framing a rebuttal or judgment, Christians can demonstrate respect for differing beliefs and experiences. This approach does not compromise Christian values but rather aligns with the biblical call to love and respect others.

2. **Engaging in Interfaith Dialogue**

Participation in interfaith dialogue offers a proactive avenue for Christians to broaden their perspectives and foster mutual respect. These dialogues are not about debating to win an argument but about sharing experiences, beliefs, and values in a respectful environment. They allow us to better understand the thinking and interworkongs of those with opposing views. Engaging with people of different faiths can demystify misconceptions and reveal common ground. It's an opportunity to articulate one's faith in a manner that is informative and inclusive, not confrontational. This approach reflects the Christian values of compassion and understanding, showing that one's faith is a path to connecting with others rather than isolating oneself.

Conclusion

Being open-minded and inclusive does not necessitate compromising one's Christian values. On the contrary, it's a chance to embody the core Christian principles of love, respect, and empathy more fully. By listening actively and engaging in interfaith dialogues, Christians can foster a more inclusive environment that respects and appreciates the rich diversity of global belief systems. Such efforts can transform perceptions and build bridges of understanding, making the world a more empathetic and united place. Finally, this is a powerful tool that has the ability to shift the perceptions other people have of the Christian community.

The Christian Aversion- the Faith Gap

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 16:41:44 GMT

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Owning Joy

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 17:21:53 GMT

Take Joy

Psalm 30:5: “For His anger endureth but a moment, and in His favor is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning”

My prayer is that your heart be fixed on Joy this week.

What is Joy?

In order to answer this question, it is important to first define happiness and then distinguish the difference.

In the un woke version of Webster's Dictionary (1828) happiness is defined as a "the state of being in which a person's desires are fulfilled and they experience pleasure without pain. The word happiness comes from the Old Norse word happ, which means "luck" or "chance". It is also related to the Old English word hæpic, which means "equal".

As seen in this definition, happiness is a fleeting feeling that is only experienced when there is no pain, resistance, or adversity, calamity, or chaos.

Joy on the other hand, is referred to in the Bible as a fruit of the spirit. It is a gift from God.

Joy is a state of being that can be present regardless of the adversities we face in life. It is an enduring attitude of the heart and spirit that provides comfort in calamity, contentment in chaos, and peace in prolonged periods of pain.

The big question is this:

How do I attain Joy that provides the comfort, contentment, and peace I need and desire?

Even though the will to act on it is not easy, the answer is actually quite simple. Here are three (though not a complete list) actions you can take today to bring some joy into your life:

1. Spend 15 minutes with God each day.

1. Speak with Him. Be honest and raw. Do not hold back. Trust me, God can handle whatever it is you need to let out.

2. Read scripture - you do not have to read for hours on end. Simply start with a few verses each day. I personally listen to or read one chapter each day.

3. Pause three times throughout each day to express your gratitude to God for three things you've been blessed with.

2. Put energy into finding a way or ways to bless/encourage at least one person each day. Acts of kindness tend to help us focus on the needs/pains of others. This takes us from a self focus where we tend to wallow in our own misery and it helps us see that we are not alone in our struggles of life.

3. Create a list of memories that put a smile on your face. Think of the details of these memories and let them be an achievement point for you as you rewire your mind to default joy mode.

The Power of Hope: Embracing Growth Through Life’s Challenges

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Fri, 31 Jan 2025 17:30:40 GMT

This is a subtitle for your new post

No matter where you find yourself today—no matter your situation, mindset, or attitude—hope exists. It is not merely wishful thinking or blind optimism; it is a deep, unwavering belief that something meaningful is being shaped within us, even in the midst of adversity.

Hope is often misunderstood. Many associate it solely with the expectation of better circumstances, believing that true hope means anticipating an easier road ahead. But real hope is much more than that. It is about embracing the journey, recognizing that every challenge, every hardship, and every setback has the potential to develop us into stronger, wiser, and more capable individuals.

Difficult times will come. We will face moments of uncertainty, disappointment, and struggle. Yet, if we choose to shift our perspective, we will see that these moments are not simply obstacles—they are opportunities. They refine us, teach us, and prepare us for what lies ahead. Hope is found not in the avoidance of difficulty but in the understanding that through difficulty, we grow.

The key is to believe it and own it. To stand firm in the knowledge that whatever you are going through right now is shaping you into a better version of yourself. This is the essence of true hope—not just looking ahead to a brighter future but trusting that even today, even in the struggle, something good is happening within you.

So today, I encourage you to hold onto hope. I hope your day is blessed, and I hope that in this season of your life, you find strength, purpose, and growth in every experience.

Strength Not of My Own

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 16:35:36 GMT

Strength Not of My Own

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been on a journey of personal development across multiple areas of my life. Taking inventory revealed where I was lacking, and I realized that if I wanted to become a better, more valuable, and fully equipped man of purpose, I had to take action.

While working on the collective aspects of my life has been a force multiplier, my faith has been the true power source behind it all.

For the past couple—or maybe a few—years (pardon my poor memory), I’ve made it my main priority to read scripture, reflect on devotionals, and pray daily.

I firmly believe this commitment is the main reason I’ve been able to endure the adversities and agonies of life: challenges in relationships, financial struggles, depression, anxiety, negative self-talk, failures, health issues in my family, and more.

Lately, I’ve been focused on finding purpose in the midst of external and internal agony. This has been one of the most difficult areas of growth I’ve encountered.

Finding purpose in agony has required a total deconstruction and reconstruction of my thoughts, beliefs, and values. It has demanded that I rely on God to help me understand what is within my control and what is beyond it. It has required me to surrender what is inside me that must be released and reject what is outside of me that doesn’t belong. I’ve had to take every thought captive and ask God to help me discern whether it aligns with His word and His ways.

I still fall short—daily, hourly, probably every minute.

However, I believe my relentless pursuit of God’s word and daily communion with Him has been the key to preparing me for the unknown and propelling me through the unpredictable and uncomfortable seasons of life where agony is present.

And, in His typical fashion, God shows up exactly when He knows I need Him most. Sometimes it’s a soft whisper, sometimes through nature, and often through the people around me who speak words of life. He also uses the wisdom of others, like these words from Oswald Chambers, to remind me of His strength:

“To those who have had no agony, Jesus says, ‘I have nothing for you; stand on your own feet, square your own shoulders. I have come for the man who knows he has a bigger handful than he can cope with, who knows there are forces he cannot touch. I will do everything for him if he will let Me. Only let a man grant he needs it, and I will do it for him.’”

True strength is not my own. It comes from surrendering to the One who holds it all.

Blessings & Honor,

Dropping the “F” Bombs: When Frustration Meets Faith

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 16:32:07 GMT

Have you ever found yourself asking:

“Why the F do I think or act this way?”
“What the F is wrong with me?”
“Who the F am I?”

We’ve all been there—moments of frustration and self-doubt where nothing seems to make sense. Sometimes, we even ask these questions with as much passion as when we drop the real "F" bomb. Is it right or wrong to feel this way? Why does it feel so raw, yet so necessary?

The truth is, we’re not alone in these moments of chaos.

Why Do We Feel This Way?

If you’ve ever wrestled with the gap between who you are and who you want to be, know this: it’s part of our human design.

Maybe your past has shaped the way you think, act, or react, and you don’t fully understand why.
Maybe you’re frustrated because you see glimpses of the person you want to be but can’t quite live up to that vision.
Maybe you’re simply overwhelmed by the complexities of life and your own human nature.

Here’s the good news: God understands the depths of your soul—even when you don’t.

The Design Behind the Chaos

Those messy, humbling moments of asking “What the F?” are not failures; they’re invitations. God wants us to bring these raw emotions and questions to Him because that’s where transformation begins.

When we honestly say, “God, I don’t get me. I need You,” we open the door for Him to step into our chaos.

Letting God Into the Mess

Psalm 139 is a beautiful reminder of God’s intimate knowledge of us:
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

Oswald Chambers puts it this way:
“O Lord, You are the God of the early mornings, the God of the late nights, the God of the mountain peaks, and the God of the sea. But my soul has horizons further away than those of early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of earth, higher peaks than any mountain, greater depths than any sea in nature. You who are the God of all these, be my God. I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths; there are motives I cannot discover, dreams I cannot realize without You. My God, search me.”

In other words, God is not just the God of the obvious and the tangible; He’s the God of the unseen places in your heart—the places you can’t even understand.

Practical Steps to Surrender

Acknowledge the Mess
It’s okay to admit you don’t have all the answers. Be honest with yourself and God about what’s bothering you.
Ask the Hard Questions
Instead of avoiding your frustration, bring it to God. Ask Him to reveal what’s beneath the surface.
Trust His Process
Healing and transformation don’t happen overnight. Allow God to work in His timing, even if it feels uncomfortable or slow.
Stay in the Conversation
Don’t let the questions and doubts push you away from God. Use them as a reason to draw closer to Him.

A Final Word

Your frustrations and failures aren’t evidence of your inadequacy—they’re a signal that you’re in a place where God can work. Invite Him into your mess, and let Him transform it into something meaningful, purposeful, and whole.

Quotes to Reflect On

“God is not intimidated by your mess—He’s waiting to meet you in it and transform it into something meaningful.”
“Our greatest frustrations often point to the places where God is inviting us to ask, ‘Who am I, and where is He leading me?’”
“You may not understand the ‘why’ behind your struggles, but God does—and He holds the answers you’re searching for.”

So, next time you’re tempted to drop the “F” bomb in frustration, remember: it’s an opportunity to drop it at God’s feet instead.

Blessings & Honor,
Pb

2025 FOCUS

paul@truenorthman.com (Paul B) — Sat, 18 Jan 2025 01:40:34 GMT

2025 FOCUS

Time to FOCUS- simplify and conquer your year.

As with anything you intend to accomplish, you must create intentional time to reflect and prepare for the year ahead. Have you carved out a few hours to FOCUS on what truly matters?

Reflect on previous year:

Take inventory of the past year.

• What went well?

• What didn’t go so well?

• What did you accomplish?

• Where did you fall short?

• What feelings arise as you meditate on your successes and shortcomings?

Envision your desired outcome for this year:

Plan for the year ahead.

• What do you want to accomplish?

• What must you do to make it happen?

• What needs to change?

• What should you continue doing?

• What does your plan look like?

Evaluate the Cost:

Understand what it will take to achieve your goals.

• How much time, energy, and effort will it require?

• How much money will it cost?

• What habits or comforts must you part with?

• What beliefs or attitudes must you change?

• What sacrifices must you make?

Embrace the Rewards:

Visualize the outcome of your efforts.

• The confidence, joy, and peace you’ll gain

• The friendships and relationships you’ll strengthen

• The personal growth you’ll experience

• The generational and spiritual impact you’ll create

• The financial and relational breakthroughs you’ll achieve

Simplify with a FOCUSed Approach:

Break your goals into four key quadrants:

1. Well-Being – mental, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and recreational growth

2. Relationships – nurturing family and friendships

3. Health – fitness, nutrition, and self-care

4. Focus – finances, business, investments, debt reduction, creativity, and contributions

Set one BIG goal for each quadrant and break them into actionable steps with clear checkpoints.

The Choice is Yours:

Do you desire real, lasting change in any area of your life?

If so, don’t just make resolutions—spend intentional time:

• Seeing your goals

• Imagining their impact

• Feeling the possibilities

• Creating a plan to conquer them

FOCUS : Follow One Course Until Success.

If you need guidance or a brainstorming session, reach out. Let’s make this year your breakthrough year!

Tools to Help You Succeed:

1. Order the Man Planner

Stay on track and achieve your goals with the True North Man Planner. Designed to help you stay organized and intentional throughout the year, this tool will be your daily companion for growth.

�� Order Your Planner Here

2. Join The Counsel

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Founder, True North Man

Clarity & Freedom

Tue, 31 Aug 2021 00:21:00 GMT

The moment you have clarity with your vision and start living accordingly is the moment you will begin to face the most opposition.

You will often be accused of behaviors, attitudes, and actions that are the exact opposite of the character and values you embody and l, how you choose to conduct yourself as it pertains to your vision.

Your intentions will be questioned…

…An unfortunate reality that is a punch in the gut.

People will often project their shortcomings, intentions, attitudes, and behaviors onto you….

…Also an unfortunate reality that is a punch in the gut.

The greatest “F” bomb you can drop on the world is this…..

1) be crystal clear with WHO you are
2)be crystal clear with WHAT your vision is

CLARITY is the greatest “F” bomb you can drop on people as you make your mark in this world.

Clarity ensures you are anchored to the
“F”reedom that is necessary for you to take the punches and turn them to power and purpose.

Clarity is what enables you to stay the course long enough for your doubters to become your disciples.

Written by Paul Beam

Ship Your Grain Across the Sea

Mon, 23 Aug 2021 22:04:00 GMT

Is it me, or are we afraid of risk? It seems as though we live in these bubbles of “safety” where we incessantly work to keep things from getting out of hand. I’m not talking about COVID. I’m talking about that job you’ve been looking at that would provide margin. Or that workout routine you’ve been putting off (speaking to myself here). That person you should be asking forgiveness from, or more importantly that person you need to forgive. Maybe it’s a volunteer role you’ve been asked to fill. I haven’t researched it, I may be wrong, but it seems like we have either pulled back due to apathy or we’re trying to control everything. Maybe it’s both. Look at your own life and decide for yourself.

In any case, I fear that I’ll get complacent and avoid risks. I also fear that my kids will take even fewer risks than I would.

Outside of Proverbs and Psalms, I don’t spend much time in the Old Testament. After all, the new stuff is just so good! Sometime last year, I went back and read through Ecclesiastes and loved it. I hadn’t read through it in a very long time. Honestly, I don’t know that I had ever read it all the way through. Nothing brought more questions to my mind than reading the first half of this book. I questioned the very relevance of the Bible itself; it was somewhat nuts!

However, I kept reading and came to chapter 11. It moved me and has turned out to be one of my favorite chapters in the entire Bible. As I read it, I felt the need to paraphrase it or interpret it for my kids. As such, what follows is my feeble interpretation of this chapter.

Take risks throughout your life; you never know where you might succeed.

Expand your knowledge; study many things, and use your gifts. You never know which of these gifts will be useful or which will be employed when it’s needed most.

We cannot control the clouds; rain will fall when and where it pleases. We cannot control the world; what God sets in motion, none can stop. Spend your time simply observing, and you will not live a fulfilling life.

None of us can see the wind or know where each gust will blow, and none of us know how life is formed in the womb. Our minds cannot comprehend God’s work, The Almighty Creator of the Universe.

Start your day intentionally, do not allow yourself to sit still. You don’t know where you’ll succeed, whether in this venture or in that venture or both.

You will never know if you do not try.

Go and do. (And go read Ecclesiastes)

It just so happens that True North Man has just the thing for you to go and do.

ManCamp .

October 15-17.

Get out your calendar (yes, I still use a paper calendar), write it down, then register .

Answers

Tue, 17 Aug 2021 00:46:00 GMT

Too often I have looked for answers in the wrong places.

Too often I have asked the wrong questions.

Too often I have immersed myself in a sea of noise hoping to acquire some sort of life-altering wisdom that would lead me in the right direction.

I have come to realize that a great degree of what I’ve tuned my ear to has been nothing but noise for two simple reasons:

Here is the twist-

I’ve learned that often inaction is the exact action needed.

Let me explain…

In the sea of noise that tends to hit each of us day-to-day, we often find more…

to do,

to learn,

to absorb,

and we keep indulging ourselves in wave after wave after wave, hoping that one day, the magic pill will wash down our throat and suddenly things will be different.

What we fail to do is take time to reflect on what we already know, have already acquired, and figure out how it applies to our journey and purpose in this life.

We fail to find solace in solitude and silence…

where the real work is done.

Where the real magic happens.

Where the real ideas come to life and where the real momentum begins.

There is such a thing as doing all the wrong things.

I know, I’ve done them all.

Silence and solitude are counterintuitive.

We all feel like we must keep moving, keep doing, keep searching, or else, we will fall behind.

Perhaps the opposite is true?

Maybe indulging in a moment of inaction could be the answer to really tapping into our true power and potential… listening to that which has already been present but has simply been drowned out in the sea of noise.

Listening doesn’t happen by default.

Listening happens by design.

Eliminate the distractions and find yourself some solitude and silence.

You may be surprised at what you will learn.

You may learn that all you have needed to get you where and what you want has already been acquired.

If you feel you could benefit from a little silence, solitude, internal reflection, re-grounding, connecting with nature and your inner voice, I would encourage you to join us at our next ManCamp .

Written by Paul Beam

Get Action

Mon, 09 Aug 2021 22:42:00 GMT

Men have the responsibility to be persons of action – to reject the standard of quiet desperation that the uninitiated choose by default – to chase down purpose with reckless abandon – to serve a cause greater than our self-interest to become the king over our castle.

The 26th President of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, said: “Get action; do things; be sane; do not fritter away your time; create; act; take a place wherever you are and be somebody; get action.”

Reflecting on my life- when I am at my lowest- times of loneliness, time of struggle or stagnation, times of internal or unhealthy external conflict – I can always trace back to a lack of action. My workouts are usually crap, my diet is garbage, my reading habits are television, and my commitment to my friends is weak. Put differently, there is no getting of action in my life.

On the other side of the coin – when the iron is moving in the gym, brotherhood is building with those I love, when my marriage is hot and healthy and my commitment to personal development is apparent – those are the time I feel fullest; the time where I see my purpose being acted out consistently.

Here’s the deal dudes- the above is not an all-encompassing all-or-nothing kind of prescription. I can be off in one area and killing it in others – and the topic of keeping priorities straight is a whole other conversation- but you get the gist of it.

Get some. Get your sweat on- even if it is going for a walk around the block. Crack a book. Call a friend and grab a drink. Hit on your wife and get after it. Get action humming in your life.

For those of you who love the thought of being a king in your life, of punching life square in the teeth and ripping the heart out of failure and negativity – I’ve got some good news for you- you were created to do so. Even if you feel it is the farthest thing from your reality. Start the journey with action. Take the step and change your life.

In October, we host our flagship event, ManCamp.

Join us.
Find your purpose.
Punch the devil in his tiny nuts.
Own your life.
Step into the role of a King God has been calling you to be for so long. Get Action.

Click the link h ere and get after it. Better yet, if you use the code GetAction , we will give you 60 bucks off the ticket price.

See you out there, champion.

– Written by Andrew Johnson

Being Wrong

Tue, 27 Jul 2021 17:56:00 GMT

How many arguments do you engage in every day? Whether it’s with your spouse, family member, co-worker, friend, or on social media, do you find yourself engaging in trying to prove your point?

Let’s face it, we argue every day and when everything is said and done, we want to walk away knowing we were right.

When you go back and examine the circumstances that led up to the argument and ultimately your desired outcome, was it worth it? I love to prove my point, but more often than not no one knows the circumstance by which my points and arguments are derived. Most of my friends or co-workers do not know how I was raised or what circumstances led to my beliefs. Anyone who chooses to engage with me on social media has no clue who I am or what I’ve endured.

But…then again, vice versa. From politics to sports to even COVID, we have opinions we hold strongly for various reasons. Perhaps someone you know contracted COVID, became very ill, and suffered greatly or even passed away. This will undoubtedly lead you to want to wear a mask, get the vaccine, and expect others to fall in line. The impact COVID has had on me and my family may have been completely different, so my views and opinions may be the opposite of yours. Yet, at the end of the day, who is right and who is wrong? Why are we so divided?

The answer is pride. Our pride overwhelms us, pushes us to the brink, and forces us to become so one-sided that we choose to grossly disrespect the other side. I cannot begin to tell you how many people I have come across from all walks of life who feel the pressure of our nation’s divide. And yet, while we all agree there is an epidemic on our hands, we don’t know how to make an impact to break the vicious cycle we are in.

Just as our pride overwhelms us, we can defeat pride with love and humility.

In Matthew 22:37-39, Jesus replied: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as yourself.”

To go further, Ephesians 4:2 says “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

God knows us to not be perfect; he created us in his image and gave us the will to make decisions for ourselves. This means we are open to free thought and enjoying our own opinions, but with that freedom, we must also choose to respect others…even our enemies.

Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

We were not created to hate or disrespect; our hearts are just not big enough to hold all this in. We have to humble ourselves to God and to each other to break the cycle and begin a new era of mutually agreed respect.

Open debate is healthy and needed; there’s a reason there are two sides to every story or two political parties representing opposite sides of an issue. Solutions don’t come from the one; they are derived by sharing our thoughts and all opinions should be welcomed.

Before you respond, think about James 4:10 “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

Let’s break the cycle together and humble ourselves and respect and love our fellow man.

Redemption

Mon, 19 Jul 2021 14:27:00 GMT

Redemption: the act of regaining or gaining possession of something in exchange for a payment or clearing of debt.

In the life of a Christian, this means that Jesus, through His sacrificial death, purchased believers from the slavery and bondage of sin to live freely in Him. Another way of expressing this; “to obtain release by the payment of a price”. In the case of our Lord, that price was His life which was forfeit on the cross of Calvary.

Redemption is used in both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible. In the Old Testament, redemption involves deliverance from bondage based on the payment of a price by a redeemer. The Hebrew word for redemption is a legal term concerning the substitution required for the person or animal delivered. Our redemption is a legal process, and by it, Jesus legally delivers each of us from the eternal punishment of our sin. This redemption stands firm in the court of God’s righteous judgment.

Given this reality, how is your day going? Did you dread getting out of bed this morning? Are you facing unreasonable demands from your employer? Is there ongoing tension in your marriage? Dealing with guilt around repeated sin? Or maybe you just find yourself simply tired of the same old routine and are longing for something new?

Fundamental to the message of the New Testament is the announcement that Jesus is the fulfillment of Israel’s messianic hope and that in Him, our long-awaited redemption has been achieved and that payment has been fully made for your redemption. Men, is this something that you take time daily to ponder and consider? Take a look at these verses:

Ephesians 1:7 – “In Him, we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.”

1 Peter 1:18-19 – “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”

Reflection and worship are necessary!

When life gets difficult, we start thinking that we need a break. What we need, however, is a reflection on our redeemed state. Instead of gaining a momentary respite from the madness that surrounds us, living in our redemption is the present promise of God to deliver us from the power and presence of sin.

How do we do this? There are some simple steps that each of us can take, they just require a bit of discipline:

If you as the leader of your family and head of your marriage are not engaged in these disciplines, who is?

A couple of other thoughts:

Recognize that we are all products of the fall and in need of redemption.

It’s easy to forget that people who bother us are often people just like us. We are all affected and afflicted by the fall. When we view people through the lens of being fallen (instead of expecting them to live as if they were fully redeemed), we can be more sympathetic. Point all people to Jesus, our Redeemer.

Realize that the sufferings of this world are temporary.

This is not to diminish pain & suffering. They are hurtful and we will feel their effects, yet redemption promises that our pain and hurt are not final. We have hope because God Himself has promised to redeem all of creation. If we want others to share in our story of redemption, we do this best when we live in the light of our future redemption. I Cor 2:9 states, “But as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no human heart has conceived’ – God has prepared these things for those who love him.”

Respond to God’s grace in your life by offering grace to others.

One of the joys we will experience in the new heaven and new earth is knowing that we are there because someone shared the good news of the gospel with us. Our joy will be so much greater when we know that someone has been redeemed because we shared the story of redemption with them!

Heads up! Gain more wisdom and positive life change experiences and relationships at ManCamp!

Pruning

Mon, 12 Jul 2021 15:53:00 GMT

Horticulturally speaking….

Plants are pruned for several reasons: to encourage strong growth, increase fruit production, improve overall plant health and increase aesthetic appeal. Specifically, for larger trees, the removal of dead or damaged limbs has prolonged benefits to the plant, as well as benefits to the safety of people around it as dead branches can fall from the tree at any time.

(Which is important to those of us in TX as we understand the need for a good shade tree…. just look at your nearest parking lot in August…)

Pruning promotes life and growth. Not only does it discard death, but it also rids itself of the live branches before they can potentially reduce its ability to thrive. Merriam-Webster definition of Prune (v): to reduce – especially by eliminating superfluous matter; to cut off or cut back parts of for better shape or more fruitful growth.

The most obvious Bible verse on this subject is John 15:2 – He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful (NIV). But to back up a bit, the verse that prompted my thoughts on this subject was John 6:44 – No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws them, and I will raise them up at the last day .

What I take from this is not everyone who hears the words of the Father will listen or accept them. Some, perhaps many, will reject them. It is not my responsibility to make them believe, but to merely allow them to hear (and see through my actions) the life-changing words of God. Although this speaks to how I influence others, it also requires us to think about how others influence us.

Now for the hard part. Understanding John 6:44, take a look at your current circle of friends. Not your social media “friends” …the people you see face to face and hang out with regularly. Especially the people that you have known for a long time. Take a long hard look at your relationship with them. Is it positive or negative? Is it Godly or worldly? Are there some that suck the life away from you or just simply bring you down? Is it possible that God would have you “prune” your relationships, and is it conceivable that to thrive in the life he’s called you to, you must carefully (with love and grace), eliminate the superfluous?

Call to Action: Pray

Pray, then listen and observe. He will show you if there is pruning to be done, to whom, and when. Although some of the dead limbs in your life are obvious, you know who they are without even praying about it.

Written by: Kevin Callaway

Cry Out

Wed, 07 Jul 2021 18:21:00 GMT

Sometimes in life, we become fearful of what our future may hold for us.

There are times when we also face complete distress and/or discontentment. Whether it be in the form of career, health, family, finances, etc.

Many times we face extreme circumstances…
Often one right after another…
Oftentimes, it can become so overwhelming that we do not see the light at the end of the tunnel. We fear what the future may or may not hold. The burden becomes so heavy that we cannot stand it anymore. What is it that we are to do in these moments?

As I was studying, I was reminded of three spiritual heavy-weights— heroes of faith– Moses, Elijah, and Jeremiah.

Though they were flawed- as we all are- we would not be apt to call them spiritually immature. These three men cried desperate cries out to God. When they felt life was too much and questioned their existence, they suddenly found themselves speaking to and pouring their heart and hurt out to God.

I believe that today, God wants some of us to cry out to him…a real, raw, ugly, uninhibited, unfiltered cry. As we taste the goodness of God, it is also true that we will face the painful brutality of life.

He wants us to know that we are not alone. Even some of God’s choice servants have felt intense failure and frustration in life. Their prayers were not a sign of spiritual deficiency; they were an indication of spiritual health.

Cry out to Him today.

– Paul Beam

Prioritize

Mon, 28 Jun 2021 22:49:00 GMT

When I ask people (especially men) how life is going they typically reply with…

“BUSY”

90% of the time they do not say it with excitement.

90% of the time they do not say it with a sense of peace.

90% of the time they do not say it with a sense of joy and anticipation for what “tomorrow” may bring.

In fact…

Most of the time their response indicates stress.

Most of the time their reply communicates frustration with life.

Most of the time their response implies they are tired.

Most of the time their answers leave but only a moment for empathy.

95% of the time I know if I’m given 30-60 minutes to sit and hear their story, I could help them devise a plan that will leave them feeling empowered, encouraged, and equipped to do life better without feeling the need to wear “busy” as a badge of honor.

Understand me correctly here…

I’m not claiming to have all the answers.
I’m not claiming I can “fix” everything.
I’m not even claiming a simple 30-60 minute processing and brainstorming conversation will cure their need to always “be busy”.

I’m simply stating people need to be awakened. And I can do that. Heck, anyone can!

I’m on this journey as well. I do not sit here judging folks. I sit here as a man who has walked many of life’s roughest roads.

I’m still learning. I’m still growing. I still need others in my corner coaching me.

This is exactly what qualifies me to lend insights.

Here are four lessons I’ve learned about being busy:

1) Busy is a choice.
2) Busy is an excuse.
3) Busy means priorities are not aligned.
4) Busy is often a myth.

If you have found yourself on the side of “busy”, trust me, you are not alone.

Without me hearing your story, I’ll offer three steps you can take to begin eliminating “busyness” from your life:

This will help you begin to find new ways to reply when people strike up a conversation and ask you about life. Hopefully, it will help you contemplate life and your answer before giving the standard “hum ho what do ya know” shallow reply “busy”.

Log all your activities in each hour of the day. This will help you determine if you are truly busy or if you just “feel” busy because your priorities are misaligned and you suck at time management.

Make a list of the top three things you must tend to each day. Then make sure you tend to those top three before anything else is done.

(Priorities)

Once you conquer the top three list you can increase it to the top five. Accomplishing the most important tasks on your list at the beginning of each day will ensure you feel accomplished!

BONUS #1:

Prioritize your life. If everything becomes a priority, nothing is a priority. It’s up to you to figure out what your priorities are.

BONUS #2:

Stop using the excuse that you are busy when folks ask you to do things. And stop saying yes if you know you cannot follow through.

Be honest and let them know it’s just not a priority for you!

This alone will earn a badge of honor that is far more honorable than the greatest of “intentions”.

No Ragrets

Mon, 21 Jun 2021 22:59:00 GMT

Have you ever seen the movie We’re The Millers?

It’s not the most appropriate movie to watch but as an adult, I can say it was entertaining and had quite a few comical moments. There was one specific scene that I vividly remember; it’s the one with the carnival worker. If you’ve seen the movie, you probably already know where I’m going with this. He had this tattoo plastered across his chest just under his neckline that said “NO RAGRETS”. The main character took one look at the tattoo and immediately noticed the misspelling. He proceeded to ask “you don’t have any regrets, not just one?”

What made this so funny was we all knew the word regret was misspelled and he certainly should have some regret for making this mistake. However, the more I thought about it, whether he was naïve or not, he was comfortable with his choice and did not see a need to dwell on the past. Now we all know why the movie portrayed it the way they did, but it brings up a good point about having or feeling regret.

I personally have felt regret and dwelled on past circumstances that transpired, which ate away at my fabric and caused anxiety, anger, and remorse. The more and more I regretted my decisions, the more I replayed the events in my mind wishing for a different outcome. Then, something clicked, through my faith and reading scripture I learned more and more about how God uses our mistakes and transforms them into something good.

You see, God is always working on us and using our experiences here on earth to prepare us for what is to come when we leave our earthly bodies and ascend into Heaven. Mistakes are a part of this life and each one we make catapults and transforms us to be a better version of ourselves. Better yet, they lead us down a new, less destructive, and more enlightening path than the current, but only if we invite God in to forgive us and we forgive ourselves.

Acts 3:19 says, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.” When you invite God in, he will take all that is bad and turn it to good just like it states in Romans 8:28, “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

When I decided to write on this topic, there is one specific event that comes to mind; it consumed me for the longest time where I wished and prayed for a do-over. The regret was overwhelming; there was so much anxiety that it made it hard to trust God, not knowing when I was going to escape the uncertainty of the impact this was going to have on my job, finances, and most importantly family. But when I finally trusted, repented, and gave it all to God, my regret began to wash away. I was able to share my story and help others, my health improved, and to this day I cannot help but appreciate how those events shoved me into the light and transformed me in such a positive way where I have “NO RAGRETS.”

– James Oliver

Dealing with Bitterness

Tue, 15 Jun 2021 01:43:00 GMT

Unfortunately, we are living in a culture in which many men have been on the receiving or giving end of egregious intentional wrong-doing. Many men have been living through years of painful relationships that have damaged their ability to engage in peaceful and fruitful relationships. These circumstances may result in an attitude of unforgiveness, which can spiral down into bitterness. Bitterness blows out the candle of peace and joy in a soul, leaving it empty.

The root of bitterness is a subtle enemy because it has the appearance, like unforgiveness, of being a justifiable response. More often than not it is the result of unforgiveness, and the truth is that bitterness cannot exist in a forgiving heart. Left unchecked it can carve a swarth of pain through many lives and relationships.

The primary function of a root is to act as an anchor. It digs deep and develops phenomenal strength and tenacity. Think of a tree and the strength and power its roots have to keep them stable. The root of bitterness in a man’s life does the same thing; it anchors a man to the negative situation that generated the root in the first place, and it is difficult to move on from that. In addition, a root is a primary point of supply for all the needs of the tree: water and nutrients. The root of bitterness does the same. It continually feeds a man with negative, bitter emotions, thus defiling him by tainting what is within. A man will end up feeding on their bitterness, and the more he does, the more bitterness is generated.

The writer of Hebrews said “Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled” (Heb 12: 14-15).

How to eradicate bitterness from our lives? The first step is honest confession and repentance. A man will never be free of bitterness if they do not come to God and acknowledge their sin. As it is so closely aligned with unforgiveness a man will often need to address that as well. Then the root must be completely cut and severed so that no small part remains. To do this requires the humility and willingness to allow God to work in this area of our lives. A person must choose to obey the commands of our Lord and turn away from the bitterness that has taken root.

Grace is the answer to, and the only way to free a man fully from the root of bitterness. It is God’s grace that gives one the wisdom to recognize a bitter root and that strengthens and enables a man to confess and repent. Then grace works in us to receive forgiveness and to be re-rooted in Christ. As we connect with Jesus, His life begins to flow through us and will wash away the poison that was absorbed through the root of bitterness.

The only way to avoid a root of bitterness is to be intimately connected to the Living Vine. Fortunately, grace is a gift from our Lord, our Living Vine, which enables us to do things that we cannot do in our strength and ability. By walking with Him daily, a man will absorb nourishment that produces wisdom, discernment, strength, forgiveness, and humility.

True North Ministries is a group of men committed to walking with men through the challenges and difficulties of life. We bring men into our community, help them uncover their true identity in God, take ownership of their God-given purpose, and live their lives with clarity and vision, in peace. If you or someone you know is a captive to bitterness, come to ManCamp, meet our community, and begin to experience wholeness.

– Dale Maudru

Surrender

Tue, 08 Jun 2021 21:27:00 GMT

You woke up this morning…

You got ready for the day… possibly a workout, coffee, kids off to school, work, emails, phone calls, social interactions, etc.

The day was normal.

A smile on your face,
Light-hearted conversation,
Strutting around with your shoulders squared; head up.

People look at you and what do they see?

A level of confidence, a level head, all together, making things happen, and in control. It’s exactly what you want people to see.

On the outside, you appear to be living the good life!

The reality-
On the inside, you are falling apart.

Unfulfilled,
Lost,
A little hopeless,
Confused,
Insecure,
Uncertain,
You’ve lost control,
Desperately yearning for more.

Questions bouncing around-
But is there more?
Does life have more to offer?
If so, what is it?
How do you find it?
Where do you begin?

Introspection-
If there is more,
do you deserve it?
Can you attain it?
Do you have what it takes to own it?

The hard truth-
Too many men walk around in this constant state of turmoil where they strive to create an image they feel others will respect, admire, appreciate, and desire.

They do so to their detriment;
A slow death;
A decaying from the inside out.

It’s a rat race, unending, tiring, and, quite frankly, the fruit it bears is short-lived.

This cycle continues because men are simply creatures of habit that, more often than not, are inclined to take the path of least resistance… yet men want to remain in control.

The image men work so hard to create and maintain has everything to do with seeking external validation in all the wrong places with all the wrong people, while simultaneously neglecting to acknowledge the true validation that serves as the foundation to a truly peaceful, joyful, and fulfilling life. It starts with introspection; the deeper work. Ownership. Oh, and surrender…seems counterintuitive when we have this inclination to pretend we have it all under control… I know, crazy!

This, of course, is a process and takes time. Most people nowadays want things their way, right away. I’m not judging, I’m guilty.

However, I have found the “secret” to breaking this cycle of delusion and decay.

It’s not a secret.
It’s just hard work.
It’s a daily battle.
It’s being so sick of the same old shit attitude and habits that get the same old shit results and discouragement- that there is a willingness, acknowledgment, and absolute determination to change the patterns and the outcomes based on who you were created to be, by an almighty and all powerful creator.

Still…it’s a daily battle. Again…it’s not easy.
But…it’s so worth it.

The fulfillment comes in knowing whose you are, who you are, and WHY you are who you are… a surrender of a false self if you will.

Then, and only then, will you find the strength you need to jump on the battlefield and slay the shit out of the victim mindset (yeah men just think they are Billy Badass- it’s a lie we tell ourselves) that has kept you from being the man you were created to be and making the impact you were created to make. This is what will allow you to achieve victory.

Let us not focus so much on the image we are building for external validation. Rather, let us begin to take ownership of our lives and do the deeper work that offers an eternal reward and bears the sweetest of fruit.

It is such a strange thing to think the very thing you have always thought is weak- surrender – is strength.

The difference is to what and whom you surrender.

Maybe this journal resonates. Maybe it doesn’t.

Either way, I’m here for you.
I’m on your team.
I want to see you succeed.
I want to see you come alive and live out your God-given purpose.
That is the ultimate joy, the ultimate peace, and the ultimate fulfillment.
Is it easy? No. Is it void of adversity? Certainly not.
But it is fulfilling! And it certainly beats the slow death we die when we choose to operate without integrity.

Here for you.

Blessings and Honor,
Paul Beam

Motives

Wed, 02 Jun 2021 22:35:00 GMT

A poetic presentation of thoughts that should bring us back to humility and pureness of heart.

“… the iniquity of holy things …”

Holy can be replaced with righteous, good, honorable, noble, wholesome, etc if you so choose.

To think that our desires for improvement in certain areas of life could indeed come from a corrupt or misguided heart is certainly humbling. And it should make us think twice.

Don’t get me wrong here- I’m not speaking on some over spiritualized or religious dogma.

Nope…I am talking about each and every person that walks the face of this earth regardless of beliefs. (Though I cannot dismiss my personal beliefs and values which stand on Biblical principles.)

I see a lot of people wanting to “do good.”
I see a lot of people “doing good.”
I also see a lot of people doing good for their own sake.

It would behoove each of us to regularly reflect and check the pulse of pureness in our “holy” habits.

Dr. Edward Payson, an American congregational preacher once wrote:

“My parish, as well as my heart, very much resemble the garden of the sluggard; and what is worse, I find that very many of my desires for the improvement of both proceed from pride, vanity, laziness.

I look at the weeds which grow and breathe out of an earnest wish that they were eradicated. But what prompts the wish?

I walk out and say to myself, ‘In what fine order is my garden kept!’ This can be pride.

Or it may be that my neighbor says ‘How finely your garden flourishes!’ This can easily turn to vanity.

Or I may simply wish for the destruction of the weeds because I am weary of pulling.

This is laziness.”

Even our desires for “holiness” can be polluted by ill motives.

Check your motives, folks!

Written by:
Paul Beam

Honor 1.0

Mon, 24 May 2021 00:21:00 GMT

All of life is relational- and it should be. God calls out the fact that ‘it is not good for man to be alone’ early on in Genesis. As a result, He creates woman from Adam’s bone and flesh and its happiness ever after…not really. So much so that a few of us reading this today may be in the camp that it would have been better to live as a hermit in the garden with Bessy the cow and Fred the toad.

With relationships always comes conflict. You hear folks talk about that honeymoon stage in a marriage where everything appears right in the world, the sun is always shining and a couple’s sex life resembles the level of passion that we read about in the Song of Songs. It’s after the honeymoon phase wanes that the ‘fun’ starts and the resilience of a couple’s conflict resolution strategy are tested.

The purpose of this message today is a simple reminder that in Romans 12 we are called to continually outdo one another in honor, to bless ort enemies, and hold a zeal for our faith that is unbeknownst to the common man. When your wife acts less than holy, says something that bites at the soul; we as men are to repay evil with grace and love. When a friend disrespects you- evil with grace and love.

When we begin to excavate the blocks of hurt and pain and replace them with grace and truth- this wall that exists in relationships that causes negative assumptions, mindsets, and conflict- begins to transform into a tool that ministers to the heart of hurting humans and attracts those to the light within you.

For the record- I am the chief of sinners in this regard. I struggle in the grace category. I have expectations that are much too high for my 3 and 1-year-old. I have a fuse that is much too short and keeping a level head in turbulent conversations with my bride has, historically, not been my strong suit.

However, as I step back and take a hold of those bricks in the wall that are ugly and are smeared with pain- use my God-given strength to rip them out and replace them with bricks of grace, love, and beauty- the relational wall that was a separator- becomes a fortress of protection for my family, friends, and co-workers.

You, my man, are called to protect those in your circle. To build them up always. To continually honor them- no matter how dishonoring their actions. To look to the cross for guidance— For even in death Christ honored all—For as Jesus was dying and insults were being hurled at him – he prayed for those who hated him… Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do.

Today, be a champion of grace and truth. Be above revenge and restitution. Lead with love and see your influence rise. Believe you have what it takes to win in this life- because, brother, you are worth it…and you absolutely have what it takes.

Today, Be a Man of Honor.

Written by
Andrew Johnson

Self-Sufficiency

Mon, 17 May 2021 22:33:00 GMT

Self-sufficiency, a virtuous and admirable trait. What is the result, though, when we rely on our power and plan, failing to fully surrender and listen to God? Do we forego true learning and growth as we focus solely on the result? Is it better to win or learn?

As men, we are conditioned to be providers, leaders, and shelters in the storm for those around us. In an honest moment, how much of our power do we supply? How much of our success is attributed to our work? I would put forth the argument that virtually none of it comes from man. Rather, God is at work in your life, often silently. Humble yourself before God, admitting your shortcomings and seeking His refuge.

We must undergo a change in diction, claiming proudly and openly that it was “He that did this”, rather than “I that did this”. God has blessed you with many talents and treasures, and it is your responsibility to ensure good stewardship of the things that He has provided. Being a strong leader and a strong provider for your family is a must-have, but you would do well to exercise self-awareness and admit freely to your family that it is God that is at work in your life, using you as a prism to ensure that His work is done. Set the proper example for your children, teaching them that it is God that supplies power in your life.

Hard work and humility are strong characteristics to have and demonstrate, but never forget where you came from and who made you. As we try each day to control narratives and control results, we must fully surrender to Him each day and ask that He will be done on Earth, as it is in heaven. I would encourage you all to ensure that the thanksgiving of your prayer sounds and is the same during the peaks and valleys of your life. Self-sufficiency is good, but we often bleed over into the territory of arrogance and selfishness. Deliverance and salvation come from the Lord, but only for those who take refuge in Him.

Men, decouple your efforts from the Lord’s efforts when you take inventory of your life. Continue to work hard and continue to strive for greatness. In your heart and most importantly out of your mouth, proclaim the fact that your power generates from the Lord. Thank Him each day for what he has and has not provided.

Psalms 9 1:2 – “I will give thanks to you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing the praises of your name, O most high.”

Written by:
Jeff Simon | 2021

Intentionality 2.0

Mon, 10 May 2021 23:55:00 GMT

Three weeks ago we read about the story regarding ‘the bags of gold’ or the parable of the talents. How a business leader essentially takes a sabbatical and empowers three of his top deputies to run the business in his stead- to grow and protect his wealth until he returns. Two of the men produce. One leads with fear and is ultimately removed from his position.

We all have the charge of the deputies fall upon us at different points in our life. We lose loved ones and are charged with building upon their legacy. We are granted increased responsibility on the job where we are expected to produce results. We marry or have children and see what we are accountable for increase tenfold. We are given ‘bags of gold’ to grow or squander. A blessing to treasure or watch atrophy.

In the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy 20:8 there is a passage that reads:

And the officers shall speak further to the people, and say, ‘Is there any man who is fearful and fainthearted? Let him go back to his house, lest he make the heart of his fellows melt like his own.

This passage is essentially saying that YOUR mindset, attitude and reaction to any situation is contagious and will cause a pandemic- of positivity or negativity- wherever you go and with whomever you interact. You are powerful. What you do, think and say matters far more than many of us could ever imagine.

How you nurture the bags of gold you are gifted is completely in your control. How you allow our mind to operate and how grateful you choose to be is completely up to you. Should you choose the path of the third leader and live in fear – there is a strong likelihood that you will lose opportunity, influence and respect. If you choose the path of honor, diligence and purpose – you will see your coffers grow and overflow in abundance and love.

Today, I encourage you to choose to live courageously and grow your charge. Love your wife intentionally. Speak to your children with passion and grace- let them know they have what it takes. Attack life on the job and be an uncommon force of positivity and execution at the office. Seize the day with intentionality and realize how truly victorious you already are.

– Andrew Johnson

Covenant Marriage

Mon, 03 May 2021 23:45:00 GMT

With today’s social mores, wedding vows between a man and women are often taken as a legal contract, social contract, a best effort, or even some sort of New Age “spiritual” contract. As reflected in the divorce rate and social chaos left in its wake, the conviction that marriage is a covenant between a man and woman in the presence of God is something to be promoted and reinforced.

So, what is a covenant? A covenant is the fundamental tool that God has designed to construct and order His relationship with man. Covenants are established by making an oath – an oath that creates kinship between the two who are making the covenant. Making an oath is to call upon the power of God to bind Satan and evil. It is a mystery of drawing down the presence of God, of engaging God for help and power, so that we can do whatever it is we are pledging to do.

There are multiple covenants that God entered into with humanity; the Creation Covenant, the Noahic Covenant, the Abrahamic Covenant, and the Davidic Covenant are a few examples from the Old Testament. In these covenants God pledges to fulfill exacting promises he has made to specific people or the nation of Israel. In Jesus we find the New Covenant, that God will forgive and forget our sins by the blood and sacrifice of Jesus. That is the essence of the
oath that God has taken and swears by Himself to fulfill.

Let’s bring the concept of swearing an oath into our New Testament understanding. Guess what the Greek word for oath is? The Greek word for “oath” is “mysterion”—mystery—a concept which is found throughout the New Testament—a concept used in Eph 5:31-32 that
describes the marital relationship between a man and woman as a type of the marriage between Christ and the Church: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.”

When a man and woman say, “I do,” they are vowing to each other before the Lord that they will stay together until one of them dies. In the fulfillment of the marital covenant, the two become one. The man no longer lives for himself, nor the woman for herself. A new unity, a new diversity, a new family is established. The covenant relationship the man and woman enter when they make their vows calls for total faithfulness. Husband and wife are to love and be
true to and cherish each other—exclusively! The man is to be true to his wife and she to him. Both remain distinct persons, yet from the Bible’s point of view, two now share a mystery of oneness.

The Lord Jesus clearly taught what God expected when He said: “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no
one separate.” Matt 19:5-6.

The marriage vow is the verbal expression of a lifelong commitment made in the mind and heart, and before our Lord. That is God’s design. The richest fulfillment of marriage is anchored in that concept.

When we say in the vow, “from this day forward,” we mean a lifetime. This promise is not made to be broken (Eccl. 5:4). Yes, such commitment is limiting. But it also sets a man or woman free to concentrate on the task of living out and adjusting and improving a
loving relationship through the sincere give-and-take of life. Such a covenant allows husband and wife to give one another the gift of a vowed love—a lifetime promise—that will carry them through physical illness and divergent interests and job pressures and problems with teenagers and unbelievable stress in the relationship. So complex—yet so simple. “I made a promise, and with the help of God I intend to keep it. I’m a person of my word. I’m in this for life”.

– Dale Maudru

Intentionality

Mon, 19 Apr 2021 22:33:00 GMT

A bag of beans. Air in a tire. Ammo in a box. Paint in a can.

The ingredients in these containers do not develop into anything. Someone, or something, in a factory puts beans in a bag, and later, you get beans out of the bag. You put air in the tire and slowly over time, air leaks out. Ammunition in a box doesn’t do anything on its own, despite what some people think. Paint in a can….well, you get the idea.

In Matthew 25: 14-30, we’re offered The Parable of the Bags of Gold. To summarize, a man is planning to take a long journey. He gives three of his servants some bags of gold, to each a different amount. Five, two, and one bag to be exact. I’ll skip to the third servant who takes his one bag of gold, digs a hole in the ground, and buries it out of fear of his master. What a safe thing to do. Simple. Comfortable. Dig a hole, stuff the bag in it, and it’s safe until his master returns. Sound familiar?

The other two servants took their bags of gold and did something with them. We don’t know exactly what, but that’s not the point. The point is they were allowed to make something more out of what they’ve been given. They know their master is going to expect something more than simply returning what he gave them.

Back to the green beans, air, ammo, and paint.

These things don’t develop into anything on their own. With intentionality though, they are used to make something or do something great. With planning and action, they have a future. A bag of beans in the hands of a chef becomes baked beans (with bacon, of course). Air in a tire helps get you to your destination. Ammo when in the gun and the hands of a skilled marksman, becomes a great competition. Paint in the hands of an artist becomes a masterpiece.

In everything we do, we must be intentional. We must take action and use the gifts and the tools God has given us to live a fulfilling life.

At True North Man, we talk a lot about purpose; defined as “the reason for which something is done”. This implies and requires action.

Someday God will ask us what we’ve done with the life He gave us…. what will your answer be?

– Paul Beam

Value of Connections

Mon, 12 Apr 2021 23:52:00 GMT

It is 2021 and we are already four months into the new year. As much as I would like to say things are looking up, at times I still feel stuck in neutral. I feel locked down and under immense pressure, not from work or family, as those do present their own levels of pressure…no…it is from the desire to connect or reconnect.

You see, we are social creatures by design and we need interaction for a number of things to help guide us through our day and our life. When I heard the term “social distancing”, it sounded more like a 1980s punk rock band versus a means to keep people safe. Yet, here we are having to put on our masks and distance as far as we can to persevere. When I think about what we have all endured up to this point, it brings to mind James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

I love his positive outlook in this scripture and it is so true, but how was I supposed to know that in 2020, I was going to go through what seemed like a lifetime of perseverance in one year? I’ll be honest, 2020 was a struggle, but it was not as bad as it could have been or at least was for others. I am extremely grateful for God’s grace and protection and thank him for all the good things he brought forth and helped me realize during this trying time. After all, it is God who takes tragedy and turns it into good.

So like I do most times, I asked God what is causing me to be stuck, feel deflated, and at times depressed? I prayed, meditated a little, and sat back and listened this time. Usually, it takes me a while to listen and focus, but for some reason, the answer was there, right in front of me like a lightning flash in the sky. Connections and social engagement! God knows what we need and he knows how important it is for us to connect with our friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, or in my case, a stranger at the grocery store. The lesson or takeaway here is we need people and we need to be around people, new people…people we can connect with, share stories with, or just enjoy each other’s company or a cup of coffee.

Here is the hard part, people are not going to come to you…you are going to have to work to engage, reach out, establish, and re-establish those connections. Perhaps through a Zoom call or FaceTime, but talking to someone face-to-face adds a new level of enlightenment, joy, and satisfaction.
If there is one lesson I have learned from this strange and odd pandemic-ridden time, it’s the value of connections and the need to be intentional in reaching out. It does not matter if you are an extrovert or introvert, we all need to engage, share stories, and talk about our day.

So make it a point every day to connect with someone new. Send them a text, give someone a call, or on your next walk stop and say hi and chat with your neighbor. I think you will find, as much as I have, that the emotional and psychological impact of re-connecting has improved my mental well-being and has shifted me back into drive.

– James Oliver –

Analyze | Prioritize | Eliminate | Execute

Mon, 05 Apr 2021 00:00:00 GMT

“I have the right to do anything” you say, but not everything is beneficial.

“I have the right to do anything” you say, but I will not be mastered by anything.

A new year is upon us. We just completed the first quarter of 2021. Many have set resolutions. Others have set goals. All the same in intent, I suppose.

The difference, for the most part, is that setting goals should be a continuous endeavor over the year. Along with goals should be a detailed plan of execution and along with a detailed plan of execution should be action. Once a goal is accomplished, another should have already been in the pipeline ready to go; to keep propelling us forward.

The passage above is a great passage to consider as you set goals. Not just for the year, but in general.

There are many things we do day to day, week to week, month to month, and year to year that aren’t necessarily bad; they just simply don’t make us better. And anything that doesn’t make us or those around us, better, must be disposed of.

A great way to make sure you’re on the right track is to simply use this four-step process:

ANALYZE

Past. What have you done or been doing? Systems, habits, goals, lifestyle.

Present. What are you currently doing? Systems, habits, goals, lifestyle.

Future. What is your VISION for the future? What do you need to do moving forward? What do you want? Where do you want to be? How are you going to get there? What are your priorities? What habits are getting in the way of you living a full life? What kind of thoughts/mindsets are getting in your way? What system, routine or lifestyle do you currently have that isn’t working to make you and those around you better and move you closer to accomplishing your goals? What are your current goals? Are they moving you forward and making you a better man?

PRIORITIZE & PLAN

What are important parts of your life?
What are five key areas of life that are most important to you?
What do you value most?

While complete balance is not necessarily attainable, what areas of your life are most out of balance?
Maybe your marriage is great but your health is out of control?
Maybe business/work is the best it’s ever been, but your home life is in shambles?

Take the areas of your life that are most important to you. Organize them in order of greatest to least.
Assess which areas need the most attention. Set goals in each area. If your most important area is an area that is thriving, maybe you need to be more aggressive in another important area…never neglecting the area that is thriving of course.

The keyword is BALANCE . Again- I understand complete balance is for the most part not attainable. but striving for balance is crucial.

A word I like to use is rhythm. Find the right rhythm and the dance of life becomes much smoother and more enjoyable for you and those you are leading in the dance.

ELIMINATE

This is the simple part. I said simple, simple in concept, but not easy to execute. Either way, it’s necessary.

Now that you have examined your life, prioritized the most important (key) areas of your life, set goals for each key area, and created a plan to execute, it’s time to eliminate any habits, systems, mindsets, excuses, lifestyles, and goals that aren’t serving you well in accomplishing those goals as you strive to become a better man, improve your life, and improve the lives of those around you.

This is where the original quote comes into play.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say.
But not everything is beneficial.
“I have the right to do anything”–but I will not be mastered by anything.
– 1 Cor 6:12

What is it that is not beneficial to your life? What is it that you must avoid being mastered by? What is it that’s holding you back from the goals you want to accomplish in the key areas of your life?

It’s true, I can work on things in areas of my life that may not necessarily be bad… but are they optimal?
I can work on bench pressing 400lbs. Yes, it would make me stronger and it’s part of my health, but is it optimal for all of the other things in life I care to accomplish?

Probably not. Eliminate!

Saying yes to something means we say no to something else. We MUST be sure to evaluate our lives and be willing to eliminate the things that are not producing maximal output if we expect to level up as a man, crush our goals, and fulfill our purpose.

EXECUTION / ACTION

You have analyzed your life, your priorities, your habits, systems, lifestyles, etc. You have identified the key areas in your life. You have identified which of those areas need the most attention… again, while not neglecting the other areas. You have set goals. You have determined your path.

Now what?

You can read all the books you want. You can attend all the classes you want. You can set goals all you want. You can create plans all you want. You can make the absolute best plan for accomplishing your goals.

Here’s the thing- to accomplish those goals and get maximal output, the one thing you must remember is this – it requires ACTION .

Now is the time to put boots to the ground and make it all happen.

It requires effort, perseverance, self-discipline, practice, and intentionality. It’s going to be a battle. The only way to win a battle is to first engage in the battle. And then never quit. Action !

The right action and then… execute !

You. Matter.

Mon, 29 Mar 2021 00:00:00 GMT

It matters!

You matter!

Matter- to be of importance; significance.

As I listened to the person on the other screen, of course on Zoom, talking about life, the plan he had built to make progress and impact, and his mixed ideas around motivation, he said something that stood out to me.

It was something I feel too many people may encounter all too often.

Immediately I realized that so many times we fall into a trap…

The comparison trap.

You’ve done it as well, I know you have.

And I would be lying if I did not admit to doing it myself.

So many people are constantly looking around at others trying to see how they measure up to those they see.

It is a death trap. It will kill your…

Dreams
Visions
Identity
Purpose

Or even worse…

Ambitions
Motivations
Desires
Determination

To carry out your carefully constructed plan that is meant to thrust you into living a life of impact.

But the comparison trap is only the beginning.

As frustrating as comparison can be…

As life draining as it is…

As much as you may hate the fact that you do it…

It is simply the catalyst for something even more damaging, more frustrating, more life-draining, and more hopeless.

Falling into the comparison trap ultimately leads to a mindset.

A self-sabotaging mindset.

A defeated mindset.

A demoralizing mindset.

This mindset eventually settles in your heart and soul at which point you begin to feel…

Empty
Disheartened
Hopeless
Helpless

Here is the line the guy on the other screen used, “I started to feel like it didn’t matter and wasn’t good enough.”

This was, of course, regarding what he originally felt was on his heart to accomplish.

How often have you found yourself not doing what you strongly feel you should be doing simply because you felt like it “didn’t matter”?

How often have you said, “it doesn’t matter”?

How often have you felt your life and your story “do not matter”?

All because you started comparing and allowing the comparison to make you feel like what you wanted to set out and do may not measure up somehow in the eyes of those around you.

Don’t let your tendency to fall into the comparison trap cause you to believe whatever it is you feel you should be doing does not matter, especially if you feel it is part of your vision, identity, and/or life’s purpose.

Let this sink in my friend.

If I were face to face with you I would look intently into your eyes and tell you that
IT MATTERS & YOU MATTER!

Blessings & Honor,
Paul Beam

Grit, Gratitude, & Grace

Mon, 22 Mar 2021 00:01:00 GMT

Much like nearly anyone could say, I’ve had some tough times; we’ve all gone through periods that gave us grief. Two years ago, I codified a philosophy for living rooted in my psychometric research for the Army; I found that the personal attributes of grit and gratitude are predictive of high performance in the military. Each attribute is good on its own, but their magnitudes mean more together. Additionally, I’ve added grace as a complement to gratitude. Personal conclusion: In times of #grief, #growth to #greatness is possible through #grit, #gratitude, and #grace.

As defined by Duckworth, grit is passion and perseverance for long-term goals, the accomplishment of which might define greatness. I like to think of gratitude as the quality of being thankful and ready to show appreciation. It is taking inventory of how my glass is half full, and then expressing appreciation towards myself and others for their contribution to the glass. I think of grace as the manifestation of favor and forgiveness. It is taking inventory of how my glass is half empty, and then using empathy to forgive myself and others for being less than perfect.

Grit, gratitude, and grace have been really helpful things for me to think about while viewing myself and the world; hope they help you!

Written by:
Rob Dees

The Hurry and the Harm

Thu, 18 Mar 2021 00:02:00 GMT

Deteriorating health. A marriage on the rocks. Conflicts at work. The iceberg, dead ahead. Awareness buys you time, and time buys you options. What happens though when a sudden event brings your life to a complete stop?

I assumed March 2nd would go as any other normal Tuesday. The only difference was that my third child was scheduled to be born that morning. In retrospect, my first mistake was the assumption (perhaps a bit of hubris) that we would be in and out of the delivery room with no issue. According to my plan, after a check-in at 8:30 AM at the hospital, my third child would be brought into this world at around 11:00 AM, and I was wondering what the plan was for lunch. At 5:00 PM, he still wasn’t here. At 6:00 PM, he still wasn’t here. Congratulatory texts from family and friends sat unanswered as my wife and I wondered what was going wrong.

When my son finally made his appearance, he was unresponsive. A healthy pregnancy up until the day of delivery. This wasn’t in my plans for the day. My mental and physical existence was equally split, simultaneously. Mentally, I was attempting to reassure my wife that everything was going to be just fine, while stepping out onto the battlefield for some spiritual warfare. Physically, I was attempting to hold my wife’s hand to reassure her that everything was going to be just fine while using my other hand to manipulate an infant manual resuscitation bag, while the doctors tried to address the other issues plaguing my son.

As the next week in the hospital unfolded, I am unsure if I had to witness anything worse than my son being taken from my wife’s chest in the delivery room just mere seconds after being placed there, as the doctors explained that he needed to be in the NICU with no further delay. As I followed the doctors and my son to the NICU, I turned around to look at my wife still laying on the delivery room bed, tears streaming from her face. I closed the door without a word. This wasn’t in my plans.

I immediately became angry and resentful as I followed the doctors down the hallway. I wasn’t listening to Him. We are told in Proverbs 3:5 to “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding”. At that moment, I didn’t trust Him and I thought I could lean on my own understanding. I knew better than what I was acting. My faith is strong and I allowed doubt and uncertainty to consume me. As I continued to be in prayer and thought throughout the week, visiting my son’s bed in the NICU as he lay there attached to wires and tubes, I came to realize that my greatest failure was not my son’s health or my wife’s well-being, because I had no control over that. My greatest failure was an inability to listen to Him, an inability to be still and allow Him to work.

I was in a hurry to get my son home. I was in a hurry to get back to normal.

As my son’s condition improved, I submitted everything I had to the Lord and finally gave up what little (if any) control that I had left. I submitted my heart, my mind, and my plans. I acknowledged that I was not sufficient enough to save my son, my wife, or myself. It never ceases to amaze me how words of the Bible come to life. I met Him halfway through Proverbs 3:6 (“in all your ways submit to Him”), and he held up His end (“and He will make your paths straight”).

Our third child was born on March 2nd and was discharged from the NICU on March 8th. He is a completely healthy boy, and now our party of five is complete. Relative to some of the other children (and parents) we saw in the NICU, we made it out of there pretty easily. NICU was not in my plans and I handled it pretty terribly in the beginning. The MINUTE that I submitted my heart, mind, and soul to God in that hospital hallway, crying uncontrollably, I felt His presence and knew that we were going home with our son.

Men, be still and listen. Step outside of yourself and recognize that we do not possess nearly the amount of control that we believe we should have. In the midst of a difficult situation, submit to Him and your paths will be made straight. We know that whoever exalts himself will be humbled. The next time you face difficulty, give it all to Him………and wait. I promise He will be there.

James 4:10 “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.”

Triangle Theory of Marriage

Thu, 11 Mar 2021 00:04:00 GMT

Quite a few years ago a fellow that I worked with was all jazzed up about his new girlfriend. In his mind, she was quite the catch; attractive, articulate, and fun. Problem was, he was already married to a gal who possessed all those same qualities, plus he had two small children with her. By the time he told me this he had already moved out of the house and was quite nonchalant about it all. Stunned by my friend’s disclosure, I started peeling back the onion with him.

In his mind they had grown apart; she was not meeting his needs, their interests had diverged, and while not ready for a divorce, he wanted to play the field and experience some “freedom”.

His story got me thinking about the human condition and marriage. Take a trip back to geometry class and imagine a line with point A (for yourself) and point B (for your wife). Let’s call this the Line of Marriage (LOM). I believe most people when they get married would expect they are on the same line and will grow closer over time, experiencing the joys and struggles of raising a family and life together. Most people will attempt to stay on the line and grow their marriage, but often with their own strength.

Well, reality bites, doesn’t it? There are legions of circumstances, prior baggage, and sinful life choices that conspire against a man and woman from achieving the unity that many strive for. All too often partners that started together on the LOM end up launching themselves in a new direction, off the line and moving away from their spouse and marriage commitments.

Let’s go back and visualize our marriages as a triangle, but change up the names a bit for each point. We have point B (husband), point C (wife), and at the apex, point A. Let’s name Point A: Jesus.

Hebrews 12: 2 tells us “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author, and perfector of our faith…”. That is a command that if both members in a marriage will follow, will set the stage for a healthy marriage and family life. If each person in the marriage is moving towards Jesus, if He is the One who occupies the priority position of daily worship and devotion in our lives, each will move up the leg of the triangle towards Him. When both parties of the marriage are moving north, closer to Jesus, they are also moving closer to each other.

Eph 5:25 tells men to love their wives, and that is all we can control. We can choose to love God, pursue Christ daily, and love our wives. Spiritual leadership isn’t being able to read the New Testament in Greek or having all the right answers all the time. It means getting out of bed and getting to church on Sunday. It is the dad who needs to be getting the kids up out of bed and off to church, not mom pushing them the whole way there. It is dad’s responsibility to ensure that the kids are participating in age-appropriate Sunday School and church activities, all the way through high school. Be seen by your family reading your Bible and making time to pray with your wife and children weekly. These are simple leadership activities that will encourage your wife to grow and move up her leg of the marriage triangle towards Jesus while growing closer to you.

Are You Listening?

Thu, 04 Mar 2021 00:14:00 GMT

All day long, the faces on TV are talking. We’ve all got our favorites, they scratch a certain itch. They say the things we want them to say and we want more. Worse yet, we start to believe all that they say. The internet is buzzing with information. We have our bookmarked websites and check them daily, many of us getting our updates pushed to our phones for our enjoyment first thing in the morning. We read the headlines, but not the article because who really has time for that. Just a few words are all we need to understand what the author is trying convey, right? Can you feel your thoughts being pulled in a certain direction?

Social Media accounts are pinging with this alert and chiming with that alert. If you re-post that article
about that politician or that celebrity, someone will like it, maybe even comment on it. Feels good to
share information, doesn’t it… whether that information is beneficial to anyone or not. Wormwood1942 commented on your post agreeing with you, maybe you should add him as a friend…whether you actually know him or not. Soon after, his posts are in your feed due to the design of the algorithm. Can you hear him calling?

These are all vying for our attention and for the most part, we give it to them. I’m not saying these
things are all bad. When consumed properly they can be a vital part of our community and society.
Very good things can come from sharing information at the speed with which we are able to these days.
The problem is that it is so easy for us to get wrapped up in these circles of dialogue and to lose sight of
what is most important. We lose sight of the truth. We answer the call, but what (or whose) call are we
answering? The call we answer too often is loud but clear as mud: Our “news” comes to us 24 hrs a
day through push notification, our “friends” like the stuff we post and we should consider that
relationship, we should work 80 hrs a week at the expense of our family life and buy the house we can’t
really afford. Oh and here are all the meds we’ll need to take when we’re so stressed and overwhelmed
from trying to complete the above action items.

The good news is there is another call; a better call. Can you hear it? Go one step further: If you can
hear it, are you listening?
In John 10:1-18 (NIRV), Jesus tells the parable of the good shepherd and his
sheep to the Pharisees.
In this story we have sheep, a gatekeeper, a stranger, a hired hand and
ultimately a good shepherd. Imagine all the sheep in a large sheep pen or something, I don’t know
where sheep gather. But they’re all mixed up together. Then you have the hired hand. He’s there to
watch over us while we wait for our shepherd to return. (I don’t know who hired the guy in this story,
but he’s a wimp. He runs when he sees trouble coming. He takes off and leaves us to be devoured at the
first sign of trouble.)

Anyhow, sheep are to be trained in knowing their shepherd’s call, and when he sounds that call they are
supposed to respond. The problem is there is also a stranger who calls out. This stranger’s call is loud
and enticing, crafted by El Diablo himself. He confuses the sheep and they scatter, or at least they are
supposed to. In actuality, the sheep respond to his call; all the while not hearing (or not listening to) the
call of their own good shepherd. If you hadn’t figured it out, we are the sheep. Yes, the sheep.

To bring this home, take a look at your daily calendar. This is where we formalize our response to the
call we are listening to. Whose call are you answering? The more you respond to the stranger’s call, the
more you don’t hear your good shepherd’s call. You become confused as to who you are (identity),
what you’re supposed to be doing (purpose), and you have no means of completing your mission (plan).
Soon you’ll be thinking you’re an aardvark or a hippo, simply because the stranger is constantly pointing
you in that direction. Always, that direction is away from the good shepherd. Always, that direction is
the antithesis of the truth.

“Then he said to all of them, whoever wants to follow me must deny themselves. They must pick up
their cross every day and follow me.” (Luke 9:23 NIRV) This is my life verse, simply because Luke’s
gospel adds the phrase “every day” where other gospels leave that out. He doesn’t say to pick up their
cross “only on Sunday morning” or “When things get tough”. As men and leaders of our families, we
must be answering this call on a daily basis. Whatever our schedules look like, this must be a priority.
Some days it will be 5-10 minutes of prayer time, that’s ok. Other days you’ll find God allows time for
you to read His word and meditate on what he’s trying to show you. If we don’t fill our hearts and
minds with the word of God, what are we doing besides answering the call of the “stranger”.

Also, who is your hired hand? Is it someone that’s going to run when the ^%!@ hits the fan? Is it
someone that you can talk with for hours about sports or politics, but you can’t talk about how you’re
struggling as a father, or failing as a son, a brother or husband? Or do you have someone you can talk to
about the real stuff; someone you can call and they’ll show up at a moment’s notice when you most
need them. We need men in our lives that are walking the same walk we are. Men that are also
answering the call of the good shepherd.

Let’s face it, we are all struggling to answer the call of our good shepherd, but we’ve heard it and we
know we should be answering it.
My question for you is are you listening to the good shepherd’s call? How can you answer yes to that if
you’re not actively and routinely seeking out His word and spending time in prayer with the Almighty
Creator of the Universe?
Kick the Devil in his nutsack, turn around and answer the call of the good shepherd.
Men, this is a call to action. Are you listening?

Written by:
Kevin Callaway 2021

Motivated vs. Dedicated

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 00:25:00 GMT

Which do you prefer…

Motivation or dedication?

Motivation is a fleeting feeling that easily dissipates with the ebbs and flows of life.
I’ve fallen prey to its enticing bait on many occasions in my lifetime.
Motivation feels great during the course of time it hangs around.

When motivated I feel ready to conquer the world.
When motivated I feel ready to take on new tasks with the end result in mind.
When motivated I commit to endeavors without first counting the cost…

Why?

Because motivation is a crafty little devil always looking to set us up for failure when it is left alone with no other companion.

Lately I’ve been motivated to complete a new program I created in order to see some desired results for Q1 in 2021.

But…
This is what I know-
My motivation will soon fade away. It will come and go like the waves of the sea.

In order to obtain the desired results I envision for Q1, I will need more than motivation.

Dedication….
Dedication on the other hand is different. Dedication is a mindset.
Dedication starts at the core of who I am. Dedication is rooted in my core values and who I have decided to be as a man.
Dedication does not leave me with excuses as to why I will not complete something.
Dedication leaves me with deep resolve to fulfill my commitments regardless of how I may “feel” at any given moment.

As a man who desires to add value to the world around me, dedication is what drives me in the moments I feel unmotivated. It is what drives me when I am facing a fear. It is what keeps me going when I do not see progress. I know progress is imminent based on the disciplines I put in place that are meant to serve me.

If you find yourself struggling with dedication there are ways you can conquer the motivation mentality.
Don’t wait until next time you feel motivated.
Don’t quit next time you feel unmotivated.

Discipline yourself in the practices you know will yield positive results in your life and dedicate yourself to the process.

If you need another level of accountability, feel free to join our True North Man FB group .

You can also join us in our dedicated tribe of men who meet weekly for a mastermind that will challenge, encourage, and equip you.

Let’s go!

“Motivation Sees the reward.
Determination counts the cost.
Motivation can get you going.
Determination keeps you going.”

Written by:
– Paul Beam 2021

Setting Goals

Tue, 16 Feb 2021 00:23:00 GMT

Goals are one of those things that can keep you on track and drive you to success. They can also paralyze if you fail to achieve them. We think about goals all the time, we even sit down and set annual, monthly or daily goals. Some goals we set so high they are almost impossible to achieve. However, when we get close we can still revel in the fact we got so close and should be proud of the learning and progress achieved along the journey.

When you fail to meet your goal do you get upset or frustrated? Did you have good intentions, but now feel discouraged or like a failure? This is so easy to do and I completely understand. I often think about and set my own goals whether it’s for work, family or my own personal fitness. I don’t always succeed, but before I beat myself up I ask one simple question…”Was this God’s goal for me?” When setting your goals are you solely focused on the goal itself and achieving it or do you ask God for the vision he has for you, the meaning behind the goal and what he can do to help you achieve the goal?

You see, goals can be overwhelming and if your company is setting your goal it is certainly out of your hands, but the beauty of asking God about our personal goals, is he will either lead you to success in achieving the goal or carve a different path he already has planned. Sounds simple, but in the end if we fixate ourselves on just the goal, we may succeed in attaining it, but never understand the true meaning and the far greater rewards God has planned. So next time you sit down to set a goal of any kind, be sure to ask God, is this the goal for me and how can I use it for the greater good?

Next time you sit down for your goal setting session I recommend you keep a few things in mind:

If you are looking for a heavy hitting, fast paced rundown on how you can create and conquer goals, join us at our next ManCamp event!
Or in our MasterMind group!

Is good work always the right work?

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 00:25:00 GMT

This is a question I’ve struggled with for quite some time. As men, we might first view good work through the lens of a career. Perhaps, we might view good work through the lens of physical fitness, or material goods. Part of my daily prayer is to ask God to orient my focus in the proper direction.

Like many men, my career is the typical 8AM-5PM weekly routine. Working from home during COVID, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to spend time with my wife and children. Is it always intentional, meaningful time? In the evenings, I’m with them for play time, dinner, baths, and bed. Each night, I come out to the garage (where I am now) and pick up where I left off regarding my work for True North, or perhaps my work for the men’s ministry at my church. My time and focus feels oriented in the right direction, but I cannot shake the feeling that all of this good work may not be the right work.

When I engage in honest introspection, I realize that I may not always be present with my wife or my children. I may be physically present with my son, playing with him and his set of blocks, while mentally miles away thinking about something career related. I may be physically present in conversation with my wife, while mentally miles away running through a checklist of things to do before our next True North event. All the work feels good, but it does not always feel right.

As I watch my kids get older and older, the recognition of times where I was not present becomes all the more sobering. I have come to realize that my level of engagement with my career, with men’s ministry, with serving God’s kingdom, has taken a toll on my home life. It is something I battle each day and it is hard to reconcile due to the nature of my work. By nature, I mean that I am not involved in any type of vice or nefarious activity, but rather work that I (at least in my mind) consider an example of Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

As I write this very blog post, am I missing a moment to go upstairs and connect with my wife through a conversation? Earlier this evening, did I miss a moment to play with my daughter because I was working on the next True North event? Did I miss a moment today to have lunch with my family because I was in a work meeting that did not require my attendance? I know what it feels like to be fully engaged with my family, and it is such a wonderful feeling. Growing up in an unstable household with domestic violence, I always envisioned and hoped for a day where I could be better than what I experienced. I realize how important it is to cherish each day, particularly with those that you love. I also realize that I sometimes fall short of my own standard.

Men, ensure that your focus is oriented toward God. “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33). Refresh yourself in prayer and the Bible, and ask God from time to time to aid you in evaluating where your time is spent. Is your good work the right work? Although my faith that God has me exactly where I need to be is strong, I occasionally ask for a sign or a reminder that I am moving in the right direction. In those moments where I was not moving in the right direction, God has made that abundantly clear very quickly. Do not miss those signs. Do not rely on your own understanding. Seek His providence and wisdom.

Those of you with older kids and experienced marriages know exactly how fast a newborn baby during your second year of marriage turns into an 18 year old and a 20th wedding anniversary. Irrespective of where you find yourself on the kids/marriage continuum, please understand that you are modeling behavior each day for your family, right or wrong. Be present in the moment, be intentional in your efforts, and cherish the opportunity to live a life in Christ with them each day. Measuring in years, some might say that lives are long. However, we only have one.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” – Proverbs 16:3

Be well and stay vigilant.

Written by:
Jeff Simon

Small Disciplines,Big Difference

Mon, 20 Apr 2020 00:26:00 GMT

A small pebble thrown into a pond.
A small seed planted in the soil.
A small switch in an aircraft.
A small infant resting in its mothers arms.
A small speck of sawdust in the eye.
a small nail in a tire.
A small bullet in a firearm.
A small animal in a foreign market.
It is not often we think of the big impact such small things can make. Small is small, right?
Over the years I cannot count how many times I have coached people in the areas of “small.” How the bigger things in life are always impacted by the smaller, finer, more minute details. There is no way around it.
On the positive end we see how the seed planted produces vegetables, which then produces sustenance for human life. We can see how the small switch in the aircraft closes the electrical current allowing the jet engines to be powered. And after birth we see how that tiny little baby resting in its mothers arms gives such overwhelming joy, making all the months of pain worth every moment.
On the opposite end of the spectrum we see how a tiny little particle can be such a great hinderance, pain, and annoyance when it settles in our eye. We see how one little nail can create such a big pain in the butt and take up much more time than the one millisecond it took for it to puncture a tire. the small piece of lead in a firearm has the ability to save life and take life… Human life! And as we all see recently, one little animal, in one market, in one area of the world has the ability to impact the entire world in such a profound manner.
Small things have huge impact.
We must carefully consider the behaviors and patterns (habits) we adopt in life, no matter how big or small. When doing so, we must keep in mind that the small behaviors and patterns we adopt are likely going to be the more repeated patterns. The repeated patterns are ultimately going to be the ones that produce the bigger results in our lives.
One long, grueling workout each month will not help us lose weight. three to five 30 minute workouts each week will help us lose weight, gain strength, and create a habit of healthy activity that will serve us well into our later years.
One piece of cake each month will not make us fat and diabetic. One piece of cake everyday will probably not turn out well for us. Eliminating the one small thing, that over time will hurt us, has the power to free us from many negative consequences.

It is up to the individual as to whether the big impact of small is negative or positive. I personally coach against there being neutral ground. time has proven to me that progress is being made in one direction or another; you’re either making net gains or sustaining net losses.
As we recall the small pebble in the pond, imagine with me for a moment… each day you wake, you engage in small practices that over time make big differences. You will think small thoughts that shift your mind and heart in ways you do not imagine until multiple days, weeks, months, and even years have passed. You will engage in patterns and behaviors that will do the same. At some point, you will take time to reflect and take inventory on how all of the small patterns and behaviors have added up over time. When you do so, will the ripple affect from the stones you have thrown create a positive impact? Will they have made you and the world around you better?
What are your current patterns and behaviors? How are they contributing to a better you and a better world around you?
Here are three simple ways you can ensure the “small” things in your life are making a big difference:

2) Add/omit “small” practices. Start SMALL

3) Track progress for 60 days.

Written by:
Paul Beam

Operation Fertile Soil

Sat, 21 Mar 2020 00:27:00 GMT

Do you guys ever wonder if your children will pass along God’s promises to the next generation? I wouldn’t have given this question a second thought about 10 years ago. You see, I grew up in home where God seemed abstract and silent. It’s not that my parents didn’t believe in God, but they seemed to have forgotten somehow. In hindsight, I’m eternally thankful for the men who later filled that void in my life. Nonetheless, the fact remains that my faith, as it stands today, did not come from my parents. And, although my parents returned to their faith several decades later, it almost seemed like Christianity nearly skipped a generation in my family. What happens if the fig tree dies?

Right now, our local church is going through a series called “Fearless Parenting,” which has been both enlightening and sobering. Our pastor emphasized that, no matter what we do as parents, our children will ultimately have the final say on faith matters. According to a recent poll, as of 2019, America had experienced a 12% decline in Christian adults over the past decade, and only half (49%) of Millennials even described themselves as Christians ( www.pewforum.org ). Therefore, we certainly cannot assume past faithfulness will continue or that future generations will even be aware of God’s promises. And, let’s not forget the history of Israel:
“After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.” (Judges 2:10 NIV)
The phenomenon of declining faith is certainly not new, and clearly God had everything well under control during Joshua’s day. Therefore, as an honest disclaimer, any man-made remedies that I might suggest to you regarding this problem are just that – man-made. The survival of the Christian faith does not depend on my human logic or efforts.

Nonetheless, I am considering an intentional “seeding operation” which I would like to share with you today. Essentially, I’m exploring the idea of writing a letter to my descendants. I’m referring to my childrens’ childrens’ children. I try to imagine the impact on my childhood if I had received a personal letter from my great, great grandfather, Fletcher W. Albright (1854 – 1941). I imagine I would have felt pretty darn special; like he was passing on some sort of ancient wisdom from beyond the grave.

Fletcher was a Texas Ranger who stood at 6’4” and rarely carried his weapon. I once saw an old newspaper article commending Fletcher’s bravery. He had single-handedly rounded up a large group of alleged gangsters and marched them down “Main Street” to the county lock-up. My point here is that, I knew a good deal about Fletcher’s legacy as a law man, but I knew absolutely nothing about his faith.
What if Fletcher had told me about God’s promises – my salvation through Jesus Christ, my mission and purpose on this earth, my true identity in Jesus Christ? I think it could have been a game changer in many ways, especially when mom and dad split. Man, I really needed a rock.

How about you? How would you have felt if you had received a letter from an ancestor? We all yearn to be connected to our ancestors in some way. As a future ancestor myself, why shouldn’t I fulfill that connection for my descendants? If I had to estimate, I’d say my great, great grandchildren will probably live sometime in the early 22nd century. I can’t fathom it, especially the advances in technology. Will Christianity even be legal?
I haven’t quite figured out my delivery method yet. I suppose I could attach a copy of it to my will and ask my children to pass it along, but that brings us back to the original problem. I could also secrete the letter inside a painted canvass, the family crest, or an old photo album. Wouldn’t that be a cool discovery? Then again, maybe there’s a technological solution I’m not thinking of. In the meantime, I’ll focus my energy on writing the letter and leave the rest to God. You can get a sneak peek of my rough draft below, and, if you desire, embark on your own intentional seeding operation. We can call it Operation FERTILE SOIL, right out of Luke Chapter 8!

Dear Great, Great Grandchildren,
My name is Eddie Crow. I wrote this letter in the year 2020 when I was only 45 years old. Perhaps you’ve never heard of me, but that’s okay. I’m your great, great granddaddy.
I have some vitally important things to tell you, so please pay careful attention. First and foremost, I love you all very much, and I would like to meet you face to face one day. I realize that I’m not there with you now, but, trust me, I’m around… (to be continued).

Author:
Eddie Crow

The One

Wed, 24 Apr 2019 00:28:00 GMT

“The Big One 2018” WINNER

For the last two and a half years (three deer seasons) I have not harvested any deer with my bow simply because I was waiting on “the one.”
Over the course of those two and a half years I have focused on improving in key areas of my life in order to become a better man. One of those areas is in being honest with myself and keeping my word to myself. Sounds self serving, right?
Not at all. Let me explain it short and sweet- if we are willing to lie to ourselves, if we are willing to break our word to ourselves… we are far more likely to lie and break our word to others. In past I have been notoriously bad at this.

So one thing I have established is an internal code that says I will not lie to myself and I will not break my word when I set a goal and set out to achieve that goal.
Let’s Circle back around to me not harvesting a deer for three seasons. I started bow hunting three years ago thanks to a good friend of mine. One day while visiting him in our hometown he asked if I had started bow hunting yet. When I replied no, he proceeded to tell me how I was missing out. How once I get into it I will never really want to hunt with a rifle again.

As the conversation came to a close I said something to the effect of “maybe when l save up enough I will purchase a bow and start bow hunting.” Little did I know, my good friend, loyal and always there for me, would take one of his bows off the wall and give it to me right in that moment. Not only did he give me a bow, he gave me the first bow he ever bought and competed with during our senior year of high school. A $1,500+ bow that he worked for and paid for himself. Man… how humbling is that!
I know your sitting there saying “get on with the point, Paul!” Here it is… the impact that had on me was profound. I was so appreciative and honored. So much so, that I made a commitment- that I would not harvest any deer with the bow until I could harvest “the one.” Little did I know this would be one thing I would use to measure how I was doing with keeping my word to myself and being honest with myself. (Sometimes we do not realize the impact – small or large- until we reflect)

Back to the deer… Now I understand that “the one” is different for everyone. Let me break it down further. I made a commitment that my first deer with that bow would be a buck. Not just any buck. It had to be bigger than any buck I had ever shot with a rifle.
Three seasons… four if you count the 1/3 season when I first received the bow.
Over the last several seasons I have seen many doe, many buck, many unique deer cross my path. I would be lying if I told you it was easy to pass on all of them. I’d be lying if I told you there weren’t times when I almost settled. I’d be lying if I told you there weren’t times I really wanted to grab a rifle to make it easier on myself… Knowing I could easily take a deer from a few hundred yards away without them ever knowing I was there.
But I didn’t! Each time I would want to “cheat” and break my word to myself, I would quickly remind myself that it may produce immediate, easy gratification, but in the long game, it would also produce a void.
The void that comes when not living in integrity. Not living up to the challenge. Not being disciplined…. succumbing to the easy way.
There I was, January 1, 2019. I had spent an entire week hunting… nothing. “The one” was elusive, wise, stealthy, and just did not appear. But on January 1 I sat in the freezing cold. Waiting, hoping, and about to give up.
I was so cold the blind was shaking from my shivering body. I thought in my mind, “ain’t no way “the one” is going to walk up.”
Deer all around me… doe, buck, Turkey in the distance… the cold had finally got to me. I had given myself 10 more minutes and I was going to pack it up and head to the house where it was warm. But Suddenly all the deer start acting a little different. I thought to myself “ok, what’s this? Let’s stick around and see what is going on.” Sure enough, “the one” came barreling down the fence line. As he approached, the other deer stood at attention as if giving respect. It was an intense moment!
Then the neighbors feeder went off and he left. The End.

Ha! True story. But 20 minutes later he came right back!
The chess match was on!

January 1, 2019 I harvested the biggest buck I’ve ever harvested. And I did it with my bow. The first buck ever taken by me with that bow.
Here’s the interesting thing- no doubt harvesting this beauty after three seasons has produced an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. But here is the twist of fate… after reflecting on the last two and half years leading up to harvesting this deer what I have realized is taking “the one” deer in reality turned into “the one” thing in my life I feel has made a huge difference- being honest with and keeping my word to myself.
After a while my mindset went from “I’ve got to do this for the sake of doing it… bragging rights” to “ive got to do this because I told myself I was going to do this… and I cannot beak my word to myself.”
It’s interesting how something so seemingly insignificant can actually have such tremendous impact when it is all said and done.

Are you on the hunt for “the one” thing in life you feel will make it all worth it?
The hunt for Improved relationships, greater faith, financial gain, greater impact, greater influence, self improvement, better health.

There are literally tons of lessons I have learned as I reflect on this journey, but here is “the one” lesson I would like you to consider:
Pick “the one” thing in your life that you need to focus on this year. “The one “ thing you feel will make you a better man. A better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better co worker, a better boss. Pick “the one” thing and focus your efforts on that one thing. Don’t lie to yourself. Keep your word to yourself. See how it impacts your life and the lives of those around you.

This journey- the journey of keeping my word to myself and being honest with myself has improved many areas of my life. It’s fostered discipline, dedication, perseverance, self restraint, self improvement, ownership, mastery of skill, practice, focus, fortitude, the list goes on. Am I perfect at it? NO! Are there still improvements to be made? ABSOLUTELY! But that does not mean I have not made tremendous progress.

I’m a better man today because I focused on “the one thing” and “THE ONE” who I must give all glory to.

Author:
Paul Beam